Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Bloody Mary Chain Mail

CHAIN:You are now cursed ME: Yeah Right.. Chain:You must send this on or you will be killed. Tonight at 12:00am, by Bloody Mary. This is no joke. So don't think you can quickly get out of it and delete it now because Bloody Mary will come to you if you do not send this on. Me: I told you! Bloody Mary is a drink!! Chain:She will slit your throat and your wrists and pull your eyeballs out with a fork. And then hang your dead corpse in your bedroom cupboard or put you under your bed. Me:What If I Told you that I CURRENTLY sleep on the sofa right now because my room has insect infestations. Chain:What's your parents going to do when they find you dead? Won't be funny then, will it? Don't think this is a fake and it's all put on to scare you because your wrong, so very wrong. Want to hear of some of the sad, sad people who lost their lives or have been seriously hurt by this email? Me: Oh Shut Up.. CASE ONE - Annalise [Surname Removed] :She got this email. Rubbish she thought. She deleted it. And now, Annalise dead. Me: Yeah.. "Surname Removed" Good One.. ^_0 CASE TWO - Louise [Surname Removed]: She sent this to only 4 people and when she woke up in the morning her wrists had deep lacerations on each. Luckily there was no pain felt, though she is scarred for life. Me: If she had deep lacerations, Would she wake up while this so called "Bloody Mary" slit her wrists because of the pain? Duh! CASE THREE - Thomas [Surname Removed]: He sent this to 5 people. Big mistake. The night Thomas was lying in his bed watching T.V. The clock shows '12:01am'. The T.V misteriously flickered off and Thomas's bedroom lamp flashed on and off several times. It went pitch black, Thomas looked to the left of him and there she was, Bloody Mary standing in white rags. Blood everywhere with a knife in her hand then disappeared. The biggest fright of Thomas's life. Me: It was his biggest fright? I've seen worse.. like my Grandpa naked.. Can't get it off my mind.. Warning... NEVER look in a mirror and repeat -'Bloody Mary.Bloody Mary.' Bloody Mary... I KILLED YOUR SON' Is it the end for you tonight! YOU ARE NOW CURSED Me: Oh am I? We strongly advise you to send this email on. It is seriously NO JOKE. We don't want to see another life wasted. ITS YOUR CHOICE... WANNA DIE TONIGHT? If you send this email to... Me: Shut the hell up! NO PEOPLE - You're going to die. 1-5 PEOPLE - You're going to either get hurt or get the biggest fright of your life. 5-15 PEOPLE - You will bring your family bad luck and someone close to you will die. 15 -25 OR MORE PEOPLE - You are safe from Bloody Mary Me: Let's see.. It's either I send this or not.. If I send this..It's a total waste of time and If I don't send it..I'll finish more productive things.. So Chain letter, Get the fudge out of our monitor screens! Chain: Uhhh..Sayonara mothafuckas! LOL.. and that's how the Bloody Chain Letter is destroyed! Oh Yeah!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Bunny Elf Chain Letter (*evil laugh*)

**************************************…
U WILL DIE DEAD IF YOU STOP READING
**************************************…
Me: I will die if I stop reading? Good, I just need to read it until the End so I DON'T DIE
Chain: So there was this bunny named elf and he had an owner named Benny and benny loved the rabbit. 1 day the rabbit and benny was taking for a walk and then they ran in 2 a girl who also Wlaked with her bunny and it’s name was Cammie.
Me: How do you suppose I will believe that piece of crap? "Wlaked" is not even a freakin' word!!
Chain: Her name was beth. beth and benny went 2 starting dating
 Me: Oh Really? Go on..
Chain: and 1 day they were having unprotected sex and weren’t watching their bunnies like good pet owners should be. then the rabbits both ate hand grenades and exploded. then their exploded bunny parts were buried but the bunny parts turned into smaller bunny babies and clawed their way form the ground and attacked people who have unprotected sex.
Me: So you're saying that baby bunnies can attack? and what if people are having unprotected sex but they are married? So instead of having a baby all they get is an attack from baby bunnies?? This Chain is messup up... 
Chain: if you don’t pass this along 2 12,000 people, bunnies will bite your penis off and they will bite your vagina off 2 and then they’ll eat ur eye balls until they can drink ur eye socket blood. i broke this chain letter and now i’m died.
Me: *dead
Chain: I misspelled dead wrong 
Me: Hey! Guess what!
Chain: What?
Me: I'm behind you! Look behind you!

*kills the chain letter*
Me: I killed.....The....CHAIN LETTER!!  *evil laugh*

The Teddy Chain Letter (Good Bye Teddy!)

Im gonna break this Chain mail! hahaha !!
Teddy:Hi, I am Teddy.
Me: Here we go again...
Teddy: Once you read this you cannot get out.
Me: Get out of what?
Teddy: Finish reading this until it is done!
Me: Until What's done??
Teddy: As I said, I am Teddy. I am 7 years old
Me: You don't have to introduce yourself twice
Teddy: I have no eyes and blood all over my face. I am dead
 Me: You Don't Say?

Teddy:If you don't send this to at least 12 people I will come to your house at midnight and I'll hide under your bed
 Me: I guess I'll be sleeping with my axe tonight..
Teddy: When you're asleep, I'll kill you
Me: How can you kill me if you don't even exist?
Teddy:Don't believe me? Case 1: Patty Buckles Got this e-mail. She doesn't believe in chain letters
Me: Here we go again with the fake people who died because of a crappy letter
Teddy: Well, Foolish Patty
Me: No! Smart Patty cause she didn't believe in chain letters
 Teddy: She was sleeping when her TV started flickering on and off. Now she's not with us anymore. Ha ha Patty, Ha ha!
 Me: Getting killed by a TV that started flickering on and off.. Seems legit..
Teddy: You don't want to be like Patty, do you?
Me: No, I want to be veterinarian
Teddy: Case 2: George M. Simon Hates chain mail, but he didn't want to die that night. He sent it to 4 people. Not good enough George. Now, George is in a coma, we don't know if he'll ever wake up. Ha ha George, Ha ha!
Me: Coma?! Seriously?? George is just on medications..
Teddy: Now, do you want to be like George?
 Me: STFU

Teddy: Case 3: Valarie Tyler She got this letter. Another chain letter she thought. Only had 7 people to send to. Well, That night when she was having a shower she saw bloody Mary in the mirror. It was the BIGGEST fright of her life. Valarie is scarred for life.
 Me: Really? Bloody Mary isn't a person, It is a drink in England (I think)
Teddy: Case 4: Derek Minse This is the final case I'll tell you about. Well, Derek was a smart person. He sent it to 12 people. Later that day, he found a $100.00 bill on the ground.
 Me: It's just a coincidence..Things happen!!
Teddy: He was premoted to head officer at his job and his girlfriend said yes to his purposal. Now, Katie and him are living happily ever after.The have 2 beautiful children
 Me: *promoted and *proposal  You're stupid Teddy..
 Teddy:Send this to at least 12 people or you'll face the consequences. 0 people- You will die tonight 1-6 people- you will be injured 7-11 people- you will get the biggest fright of your life 12 and over- you are safe and will have good fortune! Do What Teddy Says!!!! Hurry, you must send to 12 people before midnight
 Me: Teddy Teddy Teddy.. Just GTFO!

 Teddy: Okay..:(
 Me: *evil laugh* 

Introduction

Hello Guys! I am Bronze, I love to break or smash chain letters. Why? Because they are so annoying!